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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Nervous Mayweather enlists Slim Shady for Pacquiao bout

BREAKING NEWS: Eminem and his supposedly tough crew ran out of Sunday's MTV Awards because the rapper got scared when he thought it was Megamanny Pacquiao coming out of the sky and landing on his lap. It turned out to be jokester Sacha Baron Cohen.)

Impeachable, highly impeachable, sources who indulge in various sauces are telling me that an insecure and nervous Floyd Mayweather Jr. is seriously reaching out to bring a new key member into his burgeoning entourage.

“L’il Floyd is going crazy about the attention being paid to Pacquiao. In London, he says he doesn’t care if people say Pacman is the Pound for Pound King, that’s it’s just an opinion and everybody’s got one.

“Then Li’l Floyd turns into L’il Flip and says he is upset because no one ever refers to the Pinoy Idol as L’il Manny,” the inflamed source on the flammable sauce said.

Mayweather has been palling around with top rapper Fifty Cent for some years. Fitty has been a regular visitor to the Mayweather Mansion in Las Vegas which is now being closely eyed by the Infernal Revenue Service for payment of millions of dollars in back taxes.

Li’l Floyd’s tax bill is not a L’il bill.

“Now Mayweather is thinking he might need to bring in Marshall Mathers, his fellow Michigander, for moral support in the runup for a showdown against Pacman. You know, the guy better known to millions as Eminem whose alter ego is Slim Shady,” the source said.

The same source said that, if Money May Pay does enlist Eminem for the Pacquaio fight, that Em’s musical sidekick and producer, Dr. Dre, will also come aboard.

“Mayweather wants to get a, pardon the expression, gang of rappers in his corner,” the source said. “He thinks they can all join his walk to the ring and that Manny might be intimidated if he saw the thuggish crew.”

Meanwhile, reaction to the PBF Rap Brigade was muted in the Manny camp.

“Rap?” said promoter Bob Arum. “Rap is crap, I am an Old School Motown man myself. Mayweather may need a mental crutch like this. He should call his little troupe, NWA. That stands for Nerds With Attitude. Who cares, because Manny will destroy this vulgar little runner!”

Secretive Pacman adviser Michael Koncz, who fancies himself a James Bondish type in boxing, was tight-lipped but the crafty Canadian did reveal that he and Coach Freddie Roach had a scheme to outflank Mayweather and his rap cronies.

“Not many people know this but Freddie used to coach the chess team over at Compton High School in his spare time,” Koncz said. “Freddie is nobody’s pawn, either. By hanging out in the LB-CPT, meaning Long Beach-Compton area, Freddie got very friendly with Snoop Dogg. He and Snoop used to roll down Compton Boulevard on Sunday afternoons.

“We’ve got the D-o-double-g on lock for the Pacquiao team. So they can have Marshall Blather and his whole weak ass D-12 posse. Detroit is for losers and so is Flint, Michigan. The whole state is Loserville except for the hockey Red Wings.”

Koncz also revealed that Team Packy may be bringing in noted plastic sturgeon Dr. Hayden Kho as its new videographer.

“Just make sure Manny’s lovely wife, Jinkee, doesn’t hear that part,” Koncz said. "It gets boring in training camp some days if you know what I mean."

Then Koncz landed a crushing blow to the Mayweather Crew.

“I used to skate on a frozen pond up in Flin Flon, Manitoba, with Tupac,” Koncz said. “And I know for a fact that, before his untimely death, Tupac predicted that Mayweather would get knocked out by a Filipino.

“Let Floyd, Fitty and Slim Shady put that in their crack pipes and smoke it!”

Source: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5699-NY-Boxing-Examiner~y2009m6d1-Mayweather-to-enlist-Slim-Shady-for-Pacquiao-bout

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